I can't even imagine how hard it must be to sing LIVE in front of millions of people, and I admire those contestants who make it look so easy. Performance anxiety was certainly the greatest battle I fought during my undergraduate music studies, and probably the biggest reason I chose to pursue a different career path. What's odd is that even though I barely have time to play anymore in grad school, I feel as though I've become a much better musician. I notice new subtleties in the music, understand conductors' illegible beat patterns and honestly, have way more fun. It's a weird phenomenon that several ex-music majors I've spoken to have also experienced; after you stop worrying about how you're going to 'make it' in music, you can simply cherish it like you did as a kid, before the auditions, juries and all the stress.
I think the best ones on American Idol (in my opinion, Syesha and the two Davids - David Archuletta and my hero, David Cook!) look so natural because they've kept that 'childlike' love for their art, in a way naive to the real pressures they're faced with. I could not do that as a music major, but picking up the horn nowadays makes me truly love it again.
I went home to Indy this past weekend and noticed a new magnet on the refrigerator door. It read: "Life isn't about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself." I know this sounds super sappy, but I think those are some of the most inspirational words I've ever read! I feel I can really relate to it, especially through my transition to graduate school this past year. I WAS lost, trying to find myself and my place during undergrad. Now I feel like I'm tailoring my studies around my professional aspirations and goals...CREATING myself :-)
P.S. Here's David Cook singing his amazing slow version of 'Billie Jean' last week on Idol!
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